Egotism For Beginners
You wonder why people treat you as secondary. You question how it’s possible that you’re always there for them, while that same willingness is nearly never reciprocated.
They call, you pick up. They ask, you answer. They request, you deliver. They whistle, you come running.
You are most likely a decent person. Your actions are selfless. There’s no halo above your head, you might fuck up from time to time, and Christ would like to have a word with you regarding certain behaviour, but your intentions are good. (Or maybe you are a smug cunt. If that’s the case: skip these words and wait for the blog soon to come.)
Yet somehow, someway you never reap the benefits from it. There is no-one returning the favour, there is no-one treating you as you’d wish to be treated. During moments of desperation and loneliness you receive a voicemail, a “Best of luck”, or feigned interest and a horribly paraphrased philosophical quote.
The solution to it is a simple, yet harsh one, that will make you feel uncomfortable: become more egotistical.
Set goals, set standards, set boundaries, decide how you want and should be treated, and make time for yourself. You can be a virtuous, generous, caring person without discarding your dignity.
Don’t be a fucking wimp. Get yourself straight instead of bending over on demand. If that’s your thing, you might as well put on enticing undergarments and get paid for it.
It might seem counterproductive at first. It will without doubt cause resentment, and you will lose acquaintances disguised as friends early on. View those events as gifts you will be grateful for later on.
It’s good to take others into account, it needs to be encouraged. However, don’t forget yourself in the progress. Self-Alzheimer might score you points in the beginning of your relationships, but will decrease your value in the long run. Always being available and fulfilling others wants makes (latently) unattractive.
There’s no necessity to morph into a life-sized asshole. The middle fingers can stay in their holsters, the curse words can remain unspoken. Altruism and kindness can coexist with choosing yourself first. All that is necessary is that your name is on the top of the list of the ballot paper.
Become what you long for in others. Create scarcity. Give to those that give to you. Be selective with your time and help, and you will find that you will attract that which you have been longing for so badly. You will find others that possess the qualities you desire.
You want to be the protagonist on the stage of life when the curtain calls, not an extra in someone else’s.
Get to it.
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I wrote a novel! It’s available at: Amazon (Headfirst - Vic Koopmans)