Don't Die For Love
There he goes, there she went. The present turned past. Future plans changed into never lived recollections. You thought (s)he had purchased a lifetime-ticket to your show, but now the stage squeaks, the lights are dimmed and the first row is empty.
You fucked it up, or they fucked it up. You grew apart or became stuck. You looked perfect for each other, but were terrible together. Whatever it may be, it’s over. They are the fading smell in the pillow and a used up shampoo bottle in the shower.
Upset and done, happy with someone else, out and about doing everything you’d hope they wouldn’t be doing. It doesn’t matter. Staring will not make that phone ring, online lurking will not make ‘em text you, and frequenting their whereabouts will not provide you with your desired spontaneous encounter that will resolve it all.
Quit the hypotheses, save yourself the countless hours on their social media, stop clogging up their inbox. The excuses are redundant. It’s irrelevant if your actions were courtesy of Johnny, Jack, Bud or Absolut. The desperation is dripping from your vocabulary. If you need to pursue someone, it’s usually not worth the pursuit.
You are not wanted anymore, and wanting something bad will not make a good thing resurface.
A bitter pill to swallow after all the sweet memories. An aftermath that feels like a bullet wound full of bee stings. Nevertheless, remember: it’s painful, not lethal. Some people might be worth dying for, no-one is worth killing yourself over.
It is hard to think straight and see clear with all the bloody red of your shot down love blurring your vision. However, grant yourself a moment of clarity and wipe the gory mess from your eyes. Accept this new reality, and realize that acceptance is your only viable option. This is the jumping-off point from which you can either take to the air or fall into the deep end.
Open up the blinds, let the light in, grab a broom, throw out what remains of them, and spread out whatever’s shattered inside of you on the table. Visualize your dreams, drown out the noise and rebuild yourself from the shards of your broken heart.
You will be alright.
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I wrote a novel! It’s available at: Amazon (Headfirst - Vic Koopmans)
Picture: Juan Pablo Serrano